


Back to Where You Once Belonged

by Januarium



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, Friendship, Frottage, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:25:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/pseuds/Januarium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adjusting to being back in Lima with everyone is strange. Kurt has to remember how to be around Blaine, and around everyone during the first three days of New Directions’ swan song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to Where You Once Belonged

**Author's Note:**

> This fic follows Kurt through Glee 5x12. Introspective Kurt piece about how you can never go home again, and about how weird long distance relationships can be when you’re back in the same space.

There’s something odd about being back in Lima with Blaine. Because the last few visits don’t really feel like they count, too caught up in the first haze of grief over Finn. It’s still there, but this is different, because it’s not specifically about him - though it feels like it is, how can New Directions being shut down not be about him partially?

So being in the choir room again as a part of a couple suddenly feels weird. Despite the fact they’d planned to go less than a week between visits right after Blaine last left New York, it’s been nearly a month since they’ve seen each other. Kurt’s not quite such how he’s supposed to act. It feels cloying and claustrophobic to just act like it’s the same as it was a year ago. So many things have changed in that time it’s almost unreal. 

Besides all of which, there is Rachel and Mercedes in full blown diva mode making Kurt feel even more like he’s sitting in a twisted version of the past. Along with a bit of a vibe between Brittany and Santana which makes his stomach twist because he really  _likes_  Dani, and she has stuck with Santana through some really crappy stuff the past few months. Hopefully he’s just being paranoid and Santana hasn’t decided to follow this mass spiral into the depths of high school to that conclusion. He knows exes can be friends, and they were friends first, but... well. He also knows that the power of a well placed musical number and a bit of nostalgia can turn just friends into something else.

They’d been invited to Breadstix with some of the others the first night, but Kurt just wanted a chance to be out of the drama. The past few weeks had felt like high school all over again in the worst way before he even got here. He convinced Blaine to join him, Carole, and his Dad in a movie night. It still didn’t feel right to be back in the house without Finn there, backing up Kurt in pitching for a movie musical, but only certain ones - Kurt hadn’t had a chance to get used to Finn having moved out before he died, let alone now. Blaine being there made it a bit easier though.

Kurt heard a few stories about Nationals they hadn’t mentioned yet and Kurt nearly asked about whether Blaine had even told his brother he was going. That could so easily turn into an argument he didn’t want to have, if he was right about what the answer was, because Blaine was sure to be defensive about it. Kurt would be as well, which wouldn’t be fair, because Kurt losing his brother was nothing to do with whether Blaine kept up his relationship with his. So instead there had been popcorn, laughter, and an early night to rest his voice.

There had been no question of whether Blaine would stay over, from anyone. Lying in his old bed with his fiancé, Kurt had felt so caught in the limbo between then and now. There was an itching under his skin he knew was from the fact that everything was about to change yet again. He felt awkward, like he had to remember how to share a bed after so long, and then Blaine had shifted onto his side and given him a gentle kiss on the cheek and it was easy.

It was easy to turn to meet Blaine and kiss him and pull him forward until there was no space between them. Easy to grab his ass and use one leg to push Blaine’s apart and kiss and kiss until they were both hard. Easy to let Blaine move down to kiss his neck as they rubbed together, keeping as quiet as possible. It was the simplest thing in the world, when it got too much to deal with fabric between them, to pull their pants and underwear down and just finish by rubbing bare skin together.

After they’d cleaned up, still caught in silence, Kurt had slept deeper than he had in a long time.

***

Kurt had one aim in singing Defying Gravity and that was hitting that damned note, publicly. He did it, managed to prove his point while staying out of the in-fighting. Plus he’d gotten some free booze in a handy hip flask and all he had to do was cope with April Rhodes for a few minutes without tell her where to stick it.

Santana and Brittany singing Valerie just increased his worries about Santana (but a week in Lima not living with her meant he could actually avoid hearing about her drama so he wasn’t going to ask). Backing Puck up on Keep Holding On meant he had to sit to the side with Rachel for a while after, just the two of them. He recognised the too brittle smile that meant memories were getting to her. After everything in New York, right now he knew he just needed to be her family, and holding onto that crap wouldn’t help anyone.

That evening was spent at Blaine’s house with Sam and Tina, Blaine’s parents popping in occasionally. Yet another adjustment, a space he didn’t quite fit, but Blaine had talked about them so much Kurt needed to experience the three of them together. Plus, he understood them getting a bit clingy this close to graduation. Hopefully Tina would be getting into Brown and then it could be goodness knows how often they could see each other. Especially without the Glee Club there to keep drawing them back in.

It takes Kurt a while to feel comfortable. Tina keeps talking about Rachel like those sycophant jerk-offs at NYADA had before Midnight Madness, and Sam was going on and on about some old Nickelodeon show, and Blaine was sitting there with this “please like my friends” nervous look on his face and it was ridiculous. Kurt had known all of them longer than they’d known each other (because he’d totally talked to Sam before Tina ever had), this shouldn’t be so weird. He’d lived with Sam for chrissake!

That was the thought that made him realise what they needed to do. “Alright!” He said suddenly and everyone looked him him, and okay maybe that had been a bit sudden and dramatic, but he’d been living with Rachel Berry nearly a whole year. “Robot racing time.”

Blaine looked surprised, and then got that pleased little light in his eyes, and Kurt knew he’d made the right choice. Blaine had this dumb set of racing robots, it was a ridiculously simple game, but Kurt was sort of obsessed with beating Blaine, and from the cheers of agreement Tina and Sam loved it too.

The rest of the evening was easy from there. They laughed and ate pizza and everyone had stories about some combination of them someone hadn’t heard. When Finn came up they could smile and continue the story and it was okay. There had been a time when Tina had been one of his very closest friends, and while they weren’t as close now he was glad Blaine had her. Sam had always been great to him, and catching up with him was better than he’d expected, as well as seeing again how in tune how he and Blaine were. What he hadn’t fully experienced before was the three of them, a bickering, laughing unit. Kurt was glad to Blaine had this, and right now even gladder to share it.

Tina and Sam stayed a bit late, considering everyone except Kurt had classes the next day, but it was worth it. Kurt and Blaine fell asleep in Blaine’s bed quickly, with just a kiss between them.

***

The next day was even more of a roller coaster. Santana clearly couldn’t stand that she’d spent two days too busy with Brittany to be a complete bitch. She chewed Rachel out, and took Kurt down in the progress. The diva off tie seemed inevitable at this point, but at least Mercedes and Rachel were talking. Holly Holliday’s return was an unexpected plus. She had been such a high point for Kurt before his transfer to McKinley and dancing with her to a song that wasn’t tied to complicated memories brought him up right before Mr Schue brought him back down.

He was glad to see the plaques in the auditorium, even if the club would be no more. It was tough, holding on tight to Rachel and listening to them talk. This was really real now. He texted Blaine afterwards and felt his gut drop wondering if the others had even been told where the plaques were. Blaine and Sam had spent years with the New Directions and Mr Schuester hadn’t included them. He and Mercedes had been the one’s to tell Unique how the New Directions were a place of acceptance, who’d brought her here and she wouldn’t have it any more. Yes, that first year had bonded them through fire, but it didn’t feel right, splitting them off like that.

Mercedes invited whoever could make it to her house that evening, and she did include all of them. In the end Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Sam, Artie, Kitty, Unique, and Marley made it. It was a big enough group to feel like a party, but small enough everyone could talk. Mercedes’ mom made a big pot of chilli (with a small pot of vegan chilli on the side for Rachel and Marley) for everyone to dig in to.

They hung out for just an hour or two, talking, and occasionally bursting into song. It was easier, somehow, here. In the choir room everyone was so weighed down by the weight of history, and falling into old relationships. When the others were leaving Kurt kissed Blaine fiercely (something he never thought he would consider doing in Mercedes house, but when her Dad caught them he just wolf-whistled and laughed) before telling him to go home by himself tonight.

In the end it was just Mercedes, Rachel, and Kurt, him wearing in too-small pajamas that had still been in Mercedes’ closet. He’d have to rush home in the morning, but he wasn’t due to McKinley until midday and when Mercedes suggested it he knew they had to. It was a good night, even if it wasn’t always easy, navigating all their shared history. He wondered if it ever had been?

They held each others hands as they talked about knowing the Glee club was really gone, and the ways it was like losing Finn again. Mercedes and Rachel teased him a bit about being ready to duck for cover whoever the wedding planning actually started and he teased back about them just having to deal after the diva fits they’d pulled this week. Mercedes played them a couple of her songs and they showed her a recording of their second Pamela Landsbury gig, when they actually had an audience with people who put stuff on YouTube.

Falling asleep with these friends was a different sort of warmth to being with Blaine, but it felt good to know they could get here again. They still had time, though they had things to go back to after McKinley’s graduation, but it felt like it would be automatically different the second their Glee Club was really gone. They had to cling to the time they had.


End file.
